tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238934112024-03-13T23:04:53.793-07:00UtRus'* Adventures in IVFOne couple's IVF journey: *You pronounce it Ut-ARE-Us. Like Toys-R-Us. But I couldn't figure out how to make that dumb-ass backwards "R". So here we are. Living the beginning of life with Girl/Boy twins after a positive result from FET #2: two 5-day blasts. FET#1 was negative (we never did a fresh transfer from IVF #1).
If you're just beginning your explorations into the IF/ART/IVF community, you have found the right network of people. You are not alone. Not even close.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger79125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-82407059594922452672008-08-25T20:21:00.000-07:002008-08-25T20:30:13.016-07:00Nearly 15 Months OldWell hola everyone! Been too long. Just wanted to shout out to anyone visiting and say that I still read lots of the blogs that are still standing on my roll over there to the left. And some others, too. I still check in to cyclesista to see what's happening. Once a sista always a sista.<br /><br />Everything good here. Boy and Girl are nearly 15 months old and really fun. They're popping molars, Girl is walking and Boy is taking a few steps, too. They hug and kiss each other and us. Boy throws and ball and chases it and loves books and music. Girl is extremely social and is a real ham who loves to imitate - she's got at least 10 words now. They amaze me daily. Hubs and I are starting to actually like each other again, after a friggin' HARD year with twin infants<br /><br />I got my period after stopping breastfeeding. Holy crap, was it heavy. I mean HEAVY. Anyone else experience this? And it is taking a long time for my boobs to feel normal after stopping the breastfeeding - ouch. Advice?<br /><br />Ok, that's it for now, got to get some stuff done around here. Drop a line if you're still reading!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-8525223261974472192008-03-11T14:11:00.000-07:002008-03-11T14:13:09.813-07:00One Screams = The Other CriesAnyone ever run into this interesting dynamic? (I'm sure it's a temporary thing, but want to handle it right...)<br /><br />My kidlets are 9 months old. My little girl has started doing this thing where she shrieks really loudly and it's gotten a lot of reaction - at first we thought it was cute so we would "act scared" or shriek back to her as a game. The problem is, when she does it to her brother, it truly startles him and he bursts into tears. She, apparently, enjoys this reaction (I don't think she's enjoying that he's crying per se, just that she gets a fun, predictable, reaction every time).<br /><br />I know this is partially our fault for reinforcing the behavior. My question is, where do we go from here - how do I handle it with the two of them? I don't want to start a chain reaction where she shrieks, he cries, i pick him up... etc. so I am trying to distract him when she scares him or trying to remove her and get her started doing something else.... anyone ever have anything similar?<br /><br />Sometimes he is so scared with the anticipation that she's going to shriek that he fearfully turns away from her and sits with his back to her.<br /><br />Any ideas appreciated!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-55805538921786708732008-02-23T14:19:00.000-08:002008-03-08T19:21:33.841-08:009 MONTHS old! Hello Everybody!Hmm - gimme a shout-out in the comments if I still have any readers after this 6-month unintentional hiatus.<br /><br />What's my excuse? Nothing you haven't already thought of. Twin babies is a busy life and pretty much everything else has taken a back seat for me. However, even this isn't really a great excuse, because I'm a loyal reader of bloggers like <a href="http://www.arcanematters.blogspot.com/">Jennifer</a> and she manages to post meaningful, often downright hilarious posts a few times a week, and she's got twins, too. Damn cute ones. I am not gutsy enough to post my kidlets' photos online... boring, eh?<br /><br />Anyway I thought it would be at least a numerically tidy effort if I posted today... since last time I posted was when the kidlets were 9 WEEKS old.<br /><br />The babies are doing great. Girl has 5 teeth with 1 more ready to emerge for symmetry, and Boy has 4 teeth with 2 more just popping out. They both started sitting around 7 months and neither are crawling as of yet but are getting close. They roll and squirm and scoot and swim and do this weird face-plant thing with their toes and foreheads down on the ground and the rest up in the air in an inverted "V"... kinda like a messed up downward dog. They eat all sorts of fun solid food now, and we're still breastfeeding 5 x day. I can't believe we lasted this long, but now that we have, I am so happy about it. I think it's been a great experience for all involved. <br /><br />Their personalities are un-earthing themselves more and more each day, and it is fascinating. Girl points to kitty cats in books and in real life, boy listened intently and danced to music for the first time today -some classical on the radio. Maybe we'll have a cello player? Their relationship with each other is really blooming, and I have to say, this is probably the most enjoyable thing to witness. They sometimes just sit there and laugh at/with each other.<br /><br />I think Girl is starting to talk. For reals. She's only 9 months, but I swear she has said "up" "mama" and "wawa" (water) in context - I am not sure if she's just repeating something I've just said or if she really understands that these are words for things but it's pretty interesting! Boy is making plenty of good phonemes, but I'm not sure they're attached to anything yet. He is currently obsessed with his tongue - feeling it and making 'la la la' sounds. They have both signed for "milk" and have waved hello. They understand quite a lot. When I say "wanna go outside?" they both look right at the door, etc.<br /><br />I wonder how you are doing... if you are reading? I'll be back soon and am lurking in the meantime.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-781912410162572542007-07-26T09:37:00.000-07:002007-08-13T09:08:35.656-07:009 Weeks OldAll in all, this has been super fun. I am really enjoying myself and my husband is, too. It is SO much better than I thought it was going to be. Yes it is hard, yes I am sleep deprived, yes there are moments where I want to SCREAM AND GET AWAY from these two babies, but overall I feel extremely positive. It is exactly and presicely like everyone who has raised a child has said: it's by far the hardest thing I've ever done, and by far the most gratifying.<br /><br />We have been very lucky to have family helping, even though our families live far away from us. My mom was here for nearly 3 weeks and then Hubs' mom or 2 weeks, and now Hub's sister. All have been cooking up a storm, feeding us well, doing tons of baby duty (and doodie) and really connecting with their grandchildren/niece/nephew. (doesn't hurt that Hubs' mom is a former L & D nurse!) And Hubs works from home so is always "on call" - but he's actually been able to work out in his office.<br /><br />The babelets are smiling like crazy and developing at light speed. Girl is kicking her feet like she's in spinning class, and spent the majority of yesterday awake and happily alert. Boy is also spending a lot more time awake and smiling up a storm. He is also laughing on occasion, though he's still working out the exact sound he wants to make. Both respond like crazy to facial expressions, music, textures on their skin. <br /><br />At their 2 month pediatrician visit they weighed 11lbs8oz and 11lbs2oz. They got their first round of immunization shots, which, of course, wasn't pleasant. However, neither got a fever or displayed much discomfort afterwards.<br /><br />They are sometimes sleeping longer at night - up to 4 hour stretches. Or at least they WERE. Hubs decided to take them out the other night for a short jaunt to an outdoor concert thing to meet up with some friends. He wasn't there for long, but he went at just the time that we've been putting them down at night (around 7-ish, depending on where feeding is falling). They reportedly slept most of the time in their car seats, but nevertheless, they now seem rather confused about night/day and it seems like they've reverted a bit.<br /><br />Has anyone experienced this? Is it terrible to think of ever taking babies to a restaurant during the time that might be their bedtime? Must we be tied to the house on schedule or risk the consequences of having them messed up for a week afterwards? Or is it just that they are little and not grasping the "program" quite yet? <br /><br />We don't have them on a "schedule" - we're still basically on demand led by the first baby to request the boob. But they do seem to be falling into a fairly predictable pattern. We'd like to get them to go to sleep in their crib around 7PM and stay there (coming out for feedings) until the morning feed, which seems to be around 6:30AM. Usually what happens is we do evening feeding, bath time (they love it), then try to settle them down. More times than not, they will nap for about 1/2 hour and then wake back up, only to remain so until the next feeding (basically 3 hourslater at like 10PM). It's like they want one more Awake cycle. Sometimes, that's the end of it and they're down, other times.... not so much.<br /><br />Advice? How can we encourage flexibility yet give them the predictable routine that kids take comfort in?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-17794970533341600192007-07-08T20:36:00.000-07:002007-07-08T20:47:44.253-07:00One Month OldSO sorry for longtime between posts, but... heck, you can imagine why!<br /><br />Things are going really very well with our baby boy and baby girl. They are both lovely and cute and very different in personality and looks. I wish I felt comfortable publishing photos on the internet here, but I just don't. Seems like a breech of their privacy. So believe me when I say, they are cute :)<br /><br />Breast feeding is still going really well. Tandem about 98% of the time. It's the only way to have some breathing space in-between! But I'd love some advice from you other twin parents... I sometimes feel so bad waking up the baby who is still asleep in order to get them going at the same time - is this in any way bad for the babies? I feel like I'm force-feeding the one who wasn't ready yet and/or disrupting his or her sleep cycle. I mean, neither baby seems to mind being offered the boob at any time (they basically love it)... advice?<br /><br />We've introduced a bottle once per night, which gives me a 4-5 hour chunk of sleep. It makes a big difference. That and the fact that my husband is awesome - VP of Sanitation Services (ie: diaper man) and he is a very good baby-comforter. My mom is also helping during the day. One thing is for sure - twins require more than one adult. It's just too much for one person.<br /><br />The babies are starting to really see us. It's fun! No smiles yet, of course, except for those gassy sleep smiles, but they are a window into what will come. Pediatrician tomorrow to see how they're doing at 1 month mark. They are getting fat, I can tell you that!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-92138152692056439952007-06-14T20:00:00.001-07:002007-06-14T20:05:29.604-07:00So Incredibly LuckyCan't write now, too busy tandem breast-feeding :)<br /><br />Just wanted all of you lovely blog friends to know that we delivered by C-section two incredible babies. Forgive me for keeping their names and likenesses off the internet, but know that:<br /><br />Baby A (girl) was born 6lbs 11oz and has loads of black hair...<br /><br />Baby B (boy) was born 6lbs 6 oz and looks just like his (handsome) daddy.<br /><br />We are incredibly grateful to the universe, to the way things sometimes go when they are very very good. We don't take these miracles for granted for one second, and wish every one of you even half as much love and life that we're experiencing right now.<br /><br />More soon... when I've had a bit more sleep.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-79767927293338191652007-06-06T20:42:00.000-07:002007-06-07T09:57:32.838-07:0037 weeks: Rolling... and... Action!We're in the final countdown now. Today we've begun the process of induction! Cervadil was inserted about an hour ago, which I am told <i>might </i>start labor, then petocin if needed. Gulp! Maybe a vaginal birth will result, but if it doesn't go super smoothly, we'll move to C-section. I've got a heplock in and both babies on the monitor. Today, after 51 days in the hospital, I am now considered a real, true Labor & Delivery patient, and not an antepartum patient. (Cue graduation march music...)<br /><br />The interesting thing is that I feel my body could go on carrying these babies for another couple weeks. My cervix is still closed & long and I'm not all that effaced. I have lots of contractions, but I've been doing that for months to no effect. But my perinatologist feels that now that we're term at 37 weeks, and the babies are matrure and fairly big, that it would not be smart to wait for a baby to become "sick" and then rush to get 'em out. Especially with the low fluid situation. Seems prudent to me.<br /><br />So friends, fellow IVF'ers and reproductive adventurers, twin moms & dads and blog buddies... I'll see you on the flipside. Please send us good vibes, metta, prayers, your thoughts, all that good stuff today/tonight. I really am so ready now, after all we've been through. We've been incredibly lucky and loved through all of this, and Hubs and I don't know how to thank you enough. I look forward to introducing our daughter and son to you and telling you the story of their arrival.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-45394580822730654152007-05-30T10:17:00.000-07:002007-05-31T13:02:32.259-07:0036weeks: All Aboard the Gravy TrainI have been holding this day in my head as a goal for a long time. I am so pleased to report that we've arrived at 36 weeks gestation for these two little buddhas. I am very, very happy.<br /><br />Just finished being scanned by the perinatologist (who is a gem, by the way, and not only because she gives me good news). She declared me officially no longer high risk. :) Unfortunately this does not mean that I'm sprung from the slammer (hospital day 44 today!) but it does feel nice all the same.<br /><br />And anyhow, no point in wishing to be outa here at this point, because things are gonna happen soon. The scenario is thought to be this: we allow nature to do its thing this week as we head towards 37 weeks. If I go into labor naturally, then fine. If nothing happens, then at 37 weeks these babes are fully baked and we'll induce. The doc said it won't take much - just a "whiff" of petocin - as she put it, for someone in my stage.<br /><br />I am going to give a vaginal birth a go. All my docs agree that things are aligned to make this a reasonable and optimistic scenario for me. I'll be carefully monitored the whole time and will deliver (regardless) in the OR, so if any baby seems to not be liking the labor process, we switch to section. I've got no problem with that.<br /><br />One additional good thing we learned today is that the babies have closed in on each other weight-wise. This is good, and here's why: Baby A will come out first. She will stretch me out as much as she needs to. Baby B will follow, and he is not any bigger than she is (he used to be!) so ther will not have to be a lot of labor in-between, which can sometimes result in the second baby becoming stressed and need to be delivered via section.<br /><br />baby A (girl) is estimated to weigh 6lbs 4 oz<br />baby B (boy) is estimated to weigh 6lbs 3 oz<br /><br />Of course the weights have a margin of error, but I am told by the nurses that this peri is "famous" for being quite accurate. And anyway, what matters is that they're still growing and the bonus is that baby A has caught up nicely.<br /><br />So, will my next post be a celebration of week 37 or a birth story? Stay tuned!<br /><br />(Can you believe it?!)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-10774552739270041662007-05-16T17:59:00.000-07:002007-05-17T10:09:27.149-07:0034weeks A Whale of a UtRusGuys, I am huge. Official weight yesterday morning was 164.1 lbs. (remember, I'm only 5'3" and started at 116) No wonder I feel like my legs are gonna snap in half whenever I get up from this hospital bed to pee. <br /><br />Yesterday was another scan by the perinatologist. She was VERY happy with what she saw. I know this sounds a bit repetitive (thankfully) but baby A's fluid is still low, but that baby still does not seem to be phased. Her fluid measured at an index of 7, deepest vertical pocket of 4.25. Baby B's fluid remains normal.<br /><br />baby A (girl) is estimated to weigh 5lbs 3 oz<br />baby B (boy) is estimated to weigh 5lbs 9 oz<br /><br />( these weights are +- 10%, and many of you have warned me not even to expect that)<br /><br />The peri did not do an ultrasound of my cervix because she said she really doesn't care much at this point what it's doing - basically said she'd like to see me go longer (and thinks I will), but that from here on, whatever happens happens. My management remains the same - turb when needed, bedrest and much monitoring.<br /><br />I am continuing on as usual and hoping for big babies with mature lung function after 36 weeks!<br /><br />Contractions are happening at shorter intervals and are a bit stronger. But everyone seems to be of the opinion that this is no surprise. UtRus is so stretched as to think I am at term. I've been really lucky in that I've not had a lot of swelling, but my hands do feel "tight" and are a bit puffy. Mentally, these next weeks will take patience. I am so eager to get more days/weeks under my belt (so to speak. Do they even make belts this big?)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-43651856880905020042007-05-12T18:13:00.000-07:002007-05-13T09:48:29.329-07:0033w2d & Hospital Bedrest Day 25Still hangin' in there and really looking forward to reaching the 34 week mark. Then, all eyes will be set on 36! <br /><br />Got scanned yesterday morning, and I am grateful for another good report:<br /> <br />Fluid on baby A is pretty much unchanged with an index 6.0 (deepest vertical pocket of 3.25). Still considered too low, and why I remain in da slammer. For sake of comparison, the other baby's fluid index was 10, which is normal.<br /><br />My cervix remains completely closed & thick and measuring over 3.0 (it's curved a bit) - no beaking even though baby A's head is right down there resting on it. when she gets the hiccups I can feel it in my cervix! Weird. I think tomorrow that instead of Mother's Day, we will celebrate Cervix Day. <br /><br />So... onward! I am feeling huger than ever, and contractions are getting stronger when they happen. Right now I feel in a bit of weird limbo where it's almost time to begin thinking about the fact that these babies are gonna be here soon... but part of me doesn't want to think about that too much or in too much detail because I so badly want them to stay in longer.<br /><br />Bedrest, and especially in hospital, can be challenging. I know many people have done this longer than me, and with far more complications, and so I am trying to be stalwart about it. Most of the time I am ok and the days/weeks actually go along at a pretty good pace. But there are other times when it all feels so surreal and I kinda can't believe I'm here.<br /><br />I do have the sense that later on, this time will be a mere blip and there will be plenty of other things going on in life! Sometimes my fears about becoming a parent, and the added challenge of two babies at once, rise and make me feel quite scared. Especially with the extra time to think. But something has happened to me while I've been here: I realize that I can handle this. Have been doing so for about a month now. And with a fairly good measure of resiliance. I need to lose my surprise at that fact and own it. I also need to entertain the idea that I may actually adjust into the challenges of twin parenthood better than I've been expecting. I know it will be hard, but at least I need to allow for the possibility that it might be easier (or at least more fun...) than I've scared myself into anticipating.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-15401578871459163682007-05-06T15:50:00.000-07:002007-05-06T16:02:27.248-07:0032w3d Still Lying Here, Still Growin'!Today is my 19th day on bedrest in the hospital. Some days go pretty fast, others are tedious & repetitive. All in all, I've been mostly in good spirits and we're gettin' there: <br /><br />We just got scanned by our favorite perinatologist. Though she isn't sending us home - Baby A's fluid showed no change from last week - index of 6.5 - Baby A does not seem to show any evidence of hitting or constricting her cord, which is what they're so carefully watching out for with the low fluid.. All NST tracings thus far have shown two very happy babies. They show no reaction to contractions, have good accelerations, etc...<br /><br />baby A (girl) is estimated to weigh 4lbs 6 oz<br />baby B (boy) is estimated to weigh 4lbs 13 oz<br /><br />( these weights are +- 10%)<br /><br />Even though I've been having contractions (constantly monitored as things can change fast) my cervix is still completely closed and fairly long (3.0cm) for this stage of twin pregnancy. i am really getting big - after all, I have over 9 lbs of baby in there (plus an extra placenta and amniotic fluid) so I am quite past the size that most people would be with a singleton.<br /><br /> ... no wonder with that plus bedrest, walking to the bathroom and back (about 10 feet!) is fairly tiring.<br /><br />so... onward. this was very nice news today and really helps get me through the more challenging days here in the slammer.<br /><br />p.s. I am now over 160 lbs. Started at 116! (insert elephant sfx here)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-35771793068290375082007-04-27T16:33:00.000-07:002007-04-28T15:34:54.253-07:0031w1d Belly Full O' BabiesWell, I am not going home from the hospital. But...<br /><br />Had an ultrasound today and both babies are looking happy in their movements, organ functions and heartbeats. They have both grown by an amount during the last 10 days that is within range and to be expected at this gestational age. I think they both gained about 200 grams in 10 days.<br /><br />Baby A's fluid is still low, and still low enough to keep me here in hospital (probably until the end, barring miracles) but the measurement that the doc got today was a LITTLE bit better than the measurement last Saturday. At first she got an index of 5 but then the baby moved and shifted and she found another pocket and it looked more like 7. She told me that it may not be that the baby's fluid has actually improved, it may just be how she was able to capture the fluid on the ultrasound, but that it was a good thing. Definitely not worse! <br /><br />My cervix is still completely closed and long, and contractions are carefully monitored and under control with turb as needed. Both babies are now head down, which explains what was happening the other night when it felt like Ultimate Fighting Championship in there. Also explains all the kicking in the ribs on both sides!<br /><br />So - things continue to look good and I continue to feel optimistic. My next scan will hopefully be mid-week.<br /><br />Until then, more bed-resting and gestating! I am very lucky to have things going along so well. Being in hospital is a pain in the ass but I am surrounded by plenty of women who are not having such a lucky time of it. So Grateful is the word of the day. May it continue.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-14467228912577212922007-04-22T10:51:00.000-07:002007-04-22T11:05:51.634-07:0030w3d In the Slammer!Sorry for lack of updates! I am now in the hospital, but not to panic, here's the deal...<br /><br />At my reg. scheduled checkup on Wed. they found that Baby A's amniotic fluid is low. So that baby needs to be carefully monitored and here I am! Both babies are looking good and healthy. Baby A shows no distress or discomfort with her amniotic fluid situation. Hopefully things will carry on just like this and both babies will continue to grow like crazy in the next few weeks. Today is 30w3d. The perinatologist will come approximately every 3 days or so to scan me. So long as both babies are happy and growing, they stay in.<br /><br />I am still having contractions regularly but they have not changed in strength - i feel some of them (not all) and they are never painful. Yesterday my cervix measured at 4.2cm! (closed, thick, no beaking) and another negative fFN on Wed. So preterm labor does not appear to be a concern at this point. Taking some turbuteline pills which make the contractions nearly go away entirely.<br /><br />How long will I be in here? I have heard estimates everywhere from "a few days if that baby's fluid improves" to "until they are born". oh! In the hands of good docs, good nurses, and most importantly and always, the universe. it is actually very nice here in a very nice room. Of course walking on the beach would be nicer, but..<br /><br />I think everything's gonna be fine. Good news is that babies are both growing really well. 4 days ago the boy was estimated at 4lb2oz and girl at 3lb11oz. All their functions and heartbeats are good. :) They administered steroid shots just in case.<br /><br />isn't it cool that there is wireless internet in the hospital?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-11034213403099570782007-04-05T17:08:00.001-07:002007-04-05T17:08:53.154-07:0028w Contraction Junction - What's Your Function?Went to the doc for a checkup today. I was scheduled for tomorrow, but I moved it on up after getting frustrated with the number of contractions I've been having. I'm happy to report that cervix is still long-ish (3.8cm) and completely closed and my latest <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_fibronectin">fetal fibronectin (fFN)</a> test came back negative. So basically, everything's ok and we jsut carry on self-monitoring and taking it easy.<br /><br />I've been experiencing contractions since about 25 weeks or so, but they've become more frequent. Sometimes, I can go for hours without noticing any (especially if I'm out and about). But sometimes - and <i>especially</i> in the evenings - I can have 4-5 in an hour or have, say, 3 per hour for 3 or 4 hours. It's not painful (I would say one of every 10 contractions I would categorize as "rather uncomfortable" the others just being noticeable not painful) but the mental aspect of it is unsettling. I lie there wondering how soon the next one is going to come and if I'm going to go into pre-term labor which doesn't help the issue.<br /><br />I wonder if they would soon put me on <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tocolytic">tocolytic meds</a>? There has been no talk of it thus far. Maybe they only do that if pre-term labor is imminent.<br /><br />I can even tell that a contraction is coming because I get this weird compression feeling in my esophagus (or diaphragm?) and even sometimes some pressure feeling in my head for about 20 seconds before the belly tightens. Does anyone out there know what I'm talking about - experience anything similar?<br /><br />The babelets are measuring just fine - they are estimated to be about 2lbs 8 oz now and one is only a little bit bigger than the other. Their fluids, heartbeats, other measurements and movements are all good. Now if their mom could just stop worrying and Her Highness the Uterus would kindly cease contracting! (or just do it a lot less -that would be good.)<br /><br />Okay, so... now would be the time to chime in and tell me how you had contractions all through your third trimester and still went full term with your healthy baby or babies. Please no scare stories - can't take it right now.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-71917071708903444652007-03-26T23:10:00.000-07:002007-03-26T23:20:27.186-07:0026w4d I Am BlimpyMan, I'm getting big. It's getting hard to walk around too much now, belly is SO heavy. But the babies are moving around in there and I know they're growing, so definitely no complaints.<br /><br />I had a checkup today and all is well. I was scared because I've been having some contractions and they totally freak me out. I am fearful of pre-term labor. I had had a bunch of contractions during the weekend but never more than the "alert" number at which I am supposed to call my OB. Was so happy today when I learned that my cervix is still long and closed (4.4cm... which is shorter than 2 weeks ago, but apparently this is to be expected) and my <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_fibronectin">fetal fibronectin (fFN)</a> test came back normal. <br /><br />We also did a short ultrasound, just to check fluids (normal) and cervix. My next apt is in 11 days.<br /><br />Preparations are coming along nicely and most big things are done, which is good because I will be less and less mobile and the couch will be my home in a big way. But tomorrow I am still able to go for a swim, so I shall!<br /><br />Sorry my posts have not been too long or personal or detailed. I'm not sure why. But gotta go with the flow. :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-50749408820900438622007-03-12T18:29:00.000-07:002007-03-12T18:55:51.703-07:0024w4d A Good CheckupWent for the 24 week checkup today and all is well. The kidlets are measuring roundabout 1lb9oz. and 1lb14oz. One is currently head down, the other head up, in a yin-yang style :) The other good news is that my cervix is still over 5.5cm and completely closed. I hope it stays that way! Feeling good overall. I'm slow and don't like being on my feet, sitting is good, lying down feels even better. And swimming is THE BEST!<br /><br />I drank the yucky orange stuff for the glucose test but did not feel weird at all, so it must not have been that much sugar. I ate a piece of cake the day before at a baby shower and that made me feel all shaky and weird. So, I think the test will come back normal, but that I'm just not motabolizing simple sugars too well during pregnancy, which is fine - shouldn't really be eating that stuff anyway. Though I COULD go for a big box of Milk Duds right about now.<br /><br />Doc agreed that I can come in every 2 weeks now instead of every 4 which makes me feel much better. Also got a rec for physio/massage therapy to help with these burning hip flexors. Yowch!<br /><br />Mentally have had the best week in recent memory. Nothing "special" to report - just a real balanced and good feeling. Normal. Very few incidents where I have been evaluating my state or have been anxious. Predictable pattern for me, really, as I continue up the curve to feeling truly normal. For me, it takes pretty much the same amount of time to really get better (on a slow curve) from a depression period as I spent in the depression period. Interesting. Mind you, my therapist has never diagnosed me with "depression" , rather it's "adjustment disorder". Call it what you will, it's nice to be feeling better! <br /><br />Hope you are all well - please do tell!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-32369357355631149422007-03-03T15:34:00.001-08:002007-03-03T15:34:22.160-08:0023w2d Happily: Nothing to ReportSorry for long time no post. To be honest it's mainly because Blogger is bugging the F out of me. Ever since switching over to the new "Google Login" things are messed up. So, I finally had the inclination today to deal with it.<br /><br />Everything going well with the pregnancy thus far. I am looking forward to my next OB visit which is 8 days from now. I don't much like these "one month between visits"... It's so hard for a former IVF patient who was used to being monitored, scanned, poked and prodded every week at least. Especially now that we're getting further along, I can't help but have premature labor worries. I want to know how my cervix is doing and I hope the doc gives me regular <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_fibronectin">fetal fibronectin (fFN)</a> tests.<br /><br />The other day we did make a trip to labor & delivery at the hospital (it was midnight). I was having some cramping for about 2 hours and when I called the doc on call, she said to wait another half hour and if no change, that I ought to go in. It didn't so we did. They put a monitor on me and for 2 hours detected NO contractions. But I was still having the cramping and ... well... passing lots of gas. So I guess we kinda know what that was now. But the thing is, I have heard that cramping and diarreah and general upset can come along with contractions, so I wasn't really sure. I think I have had a few contractions here and there, but they are not painful and not often. However, as you can plainly see, I don't really know what to expect and am a little skittish! The OB nurse who was dealing with me said I definitely did the right thing by coming in and that I should do so again if I ever had doubts.<br /><br />Planning for the babies is coming along pretty well... getting things done and feeling a bit more relaxed about it all and less stressed in general (though there are days where I wouldn't say that :). It feels really good to be feeling more confident and happier about the way the future looks. It was rough being depressed through IVF and the beginning of this pregnancy. You BET I have done my research on post-partum depression and know where to go and to do it fast if I find myself in that place. Hoping for the best, but it is still a fear of mine. I sometimes talk about it with my therapist - which helps a lot and makes me feel less fearful and quite supported.<br /><br />I am still swimming regularly and really love it - it feels great! I wish I had a pool in my backyard so I could swim all day long. Maybe I'll give birth to a couple of trouts. That would be weird.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-83698105614499039122007-02-09T18:13:00.000-08:002007-02-09T18:09:03.554-08:0020w1d Ultrasound All GoodWe got our 20 week ultrasound with the perinatologist today and all is well. It was really fun to see the babies in there with more detail than ever before (duh) and moving around. <br /><br />The girl is on my right and the boy on my left. I had sort of been feeling that this was the way they were situated but the doc confirmed it today. I am feeling more movement, a little each day, more on the right side. Both placentas are in an anterior position, so I guess the movements feel softer - there's quite a bit of cushioning in-between the babies and my abdominal wall (er, what's left of it ;) Hubs won't be able to feel them move from the outside probably for another month or so.<br /><br />I was SO happy to hear that my cervix is still very long ("5 or 6 centimeters" the doc said) and completely closed. I hope it remains this way until appropriate time. Of course I am concerned about any contractions, and later, premature labor, as any person preg with twins would be. I don't think I have had any contractions yet, but to tell the truth, I am not entirely sure I understand what they feel like. Please describe??<br /><br />This morning before I woke up I had an orgasm in my sleep. A strong one. And then I woke up right after. About 5 minutes after, I had some cramping for about 2 or 3 minutes, a little scary. Was that contractions? I am going to ask the OB about this on Monday. Anyone else ever experience this? Should I not have orgasms? (Not that one can help this during sleep!)<br /><br />Will report back after the OB appointment on Monday. Looking forward to having ME checked out - blood pressure, blood glucose, etc. Sometimes I have some pressure in my head that lasts for hours and of course, I've mentioned the blood sugar issues. So, it'll be nice to get checked. Oh yeah, today I stepped on the scale in the peri's office and I was about 142 - ! I'm only 5'3", so this is quite interesting for me. I started at about 116, so doing fine in the weight-gain department so far I do say. Have never weighed over 135-ish, so it's pretty weird. But good. I am far more worried these days about the babies being big enough rather than myself getting temporarily whale-ish.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-1169877013948200922007-01-26T21:40:00.000-08:002007-01-31T15:24:11.856-08:0018w6d Getting Big AlreadyGosh. I'm getting big. A little scary, as I am only 4 3/4 months pregnant, but that's the way it is with a twin pregnancy apparently!<br /><br />Things have been so far so good, just getting a handle on all there is to plan and get together. It really threw me for a loop for the first couple months, but lately I've been feeling a bit better, a little more in conrol, a little calmer. The last couple weeks have been really good in the mental health realm - just... normal. And believe me, I am completely thrilled with "just normal!" Back to me. Hello me. Nice to see you again.<br /><br />I will take this opportunity to remind all of you out there who may be having an especially hard time with IF, IVF, ART, losses, life changes... that getting help from a mental health professional is a Good Thing. It doesn't solve things overnight, but it does give you some tools and in the end makes a very big difference. <br /><br />Been eating a whole heck of a lot. Often! Trying to do lots of protein and calcium and etc. Swimming rocks. I am trying to go 3 times per week at least. Now going out for a walk. My next Dr. appointment is the 20 week anatomy scan and then an OB appointment the next day. Will update then.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-1168882405525053542007-01-15T08:37:00.000-08:002007-01-15T09:33:25.580-08:0016w4d We Have an OBThis past week I went to visit yet another OB. He was very thorough and gentle and in the end after much rumination, I have decided to go with him. I loved the other doc that I saw (see last post) but she is in practice alone and he is in practice with 6 other docs who he's worked closely with for 20 years. Frankly, with a twin prgnancy, I just feel more comfortable knowing that someone is always readily available there in the office. And, by the way, it was the most organized dr's office I have ever seen. Everything ran like clockwork in there. And it wasn't an anomaly either - I've heard this from other people too. <br /><br />I've been feeling pretty good - belly a-poppin'. Some great friends have given me some maternity stuff, so I am way more comfortable now - you girls were totally right on that one! I mean, I am not so big, but the tight pants just weren't cutting it anymore!<br /><br />The one thing I wish I could fix right now would be this: every afternoon at about 3PM my mood takes a plunge. I begin to feel a bit depressed/anxious. It is so weird because it is the same time every day! I have tried to figure it out cognitively, of course, but I really don't think there's anything there, any association I can think of. I have tried an afternoon nap thinking maybe I am just worn out, but sometimes I can't even sleep at that time. I have tried eating a lot at like 2PM to avoid blood sugar issues. I am now trying to take a B complex vitamin at around 2PM to see if the B12 might be a mood booster around that time (didn't work yesterday). It's just so strange because mornings are good - totally normal, and I generally feel pretty good after dinner, etc. But that 3-7PM time is really a downer. <br /><br />Could it be some hormone cycling? Other ideas? Has anyone ever experienced this particular issue?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-1168129303700522282007-01-06T16:25:00.000-08:002007-01-06T16:27:47.023-08:0015w2d OB SelectionYesterday I went to a new OB. I have decided not to go with the doc I saw for my first 3 visits because it wasn't a good fit. Without going into too much detail - her office was just too chaotic, lost some test results, not so good at follow-up, etc. I wasn't comfortable.<br /><br />So, the new OB was really really good. Very confident and organized. She is in practice alone. I was a little concerned with that until I asked her who covers for her and the answer was "Two people - one is the OB who delivered my own two children, and the other is a colleague I work very closely with who is very highly regarded." So, this really isn't much different than the OB's all being in the same practice. Also, this doc takes on a fairly light patient load, so she says it's very rare that she doesn't deliver her patients. <br /><br />I grilled her pretty hard about her thoughts on Cesarians for twins and her surgical philosophy. I know it's pretty likely that I will not have a vaginal birth, and I am ok with that. (Please, no lectures on this. I'd like a vaginal delivery, but chances are fairly unlikely, and I am not up for the first twin being vaginal with the second being rushed to emergency Cesarian under duress. I've read the stats, and I feel comfortable going with the flow and planning for best decision at the time.) The main thing is if I have surgery, that I want to be sewn up VERY conscientiously so that my athletic career can continue with decent core strength after recovery. This doc does not cut abdominal muscles (I think that's pretty rare these days anyway) and does not pull out the uterus - does the repair in the cavity. She sounded extremely confident in her surgical ability. She, herself, has had one vaginal and one Cesarian birth.<br /><br />I was upfront in telling her that next week I have another OB appointment with another doc. This other one is head of obstetrics at the hospital we'll be using. I'm sure he'll be good, too, and then I'll have to make a decision. At this point, I am just really thrilled that I've found someone I can definitely be confident with!<br /><br />My belly is getting harder and popping out a bit. I think I look like a person who drank a few too many beers during the holidays (ok, and ate a few hundred cookies, too). The days of buttoning my pants are over, and soon I will have to get some maternity stuff. I have a few friends who have offered to send me or lend me some of their togs, which I think is super generous and nice. <br /><br /><a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/1765/2474/1600/695953/IMG_0355.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/1765/2474/320/482180/IMG_0355.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /> I've already rigged up my pants with a hair band in the way that my friend showed me - it's a good little trick! Unfortunately does not stop the zipper from flying low, though.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The low blood sugar eating frenzy seems to have calmed just a bit. I still need to eat regularly and carefully, but I don't seem to be crashing quite as hard or as often. Must come in spurts?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-1167508762036290972006-12-30T11:41:00.000-08:002006-12-30T11:59:22.060-08:0014w2d Get In My Belly!I am an eating machine. Trying to consume healthy stuff, and for the most part that is going ok. I seem to have no desire whatsoever for sweet stuff, which is totally weird for me. I barely touched any holiday treats because they just seemed kinda... ew. Normally, I would be eating a Christmas cookie or candy every 10 minutes if it was anywhere in the vicinity.<br /><br />The hard thing is that I am starving just about 2 hours after I've eaten. Even if I eat something very high in protein, like this morning - 2 eggs on toast and cereal with milk. Hungry again just 2.5 hours later. My non-preg with twins self would be fine until 4 in the afternoon on fuel like that!<br /><br />Does anyone have any tips (except for "keep eating!") that might make this a bit easier? I know it sounds kinda fun to be hungry all the time, but it's totally not. It's kinda demoralizing. Because I don't enjoy the food in the way I might when feeling normal. It's a VERY intense hunger but though I am not exactly nauseated all the time, it's still kinda yucky to eat about 70% of the time. But I HAVE to eat, and do it immediately, because if I don't the blood glucose plummets and the crash is not pretty: shaky, depressive feelings, dizziness.<br /><br />Oh yeah, I should mention - I don't eat meat/poultry, which makes it all a bit more challenging. I DO eat plenty of dairy, eggs, and some seafood, though I am trying not to overdo this (mercury and other contaminant concerns + environmental concerns). I'm definitely into the tofu, tempeh, beans, seeds, nuts, etc. and trying to balance with complex carbs and good amout of fats. but I'm running out of creativity! Help! Anything you can think of besides "Suck it up, UtRus!" ?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-1166902829800965782006-12-23T11:14:00.000-08:002006-12-23T11:40:29.926-08:0013w2d Fog is LiftingI hope I am not speaking too soon, but it seems as if the nausea is lessening. A few days ago I got my progesterone level tested and it was 60 (!) so I went off the vag suppositories. I was on 200MG 4x per day until a week after the CVS. I think the combo of starting the 3rd trimester and going off all that extra progesterone has made a big difference. I've got two placentas in here now producing all they need.<br /><br />I've noticed a big mood change at the same time. Soon as that extra progesterone left my system I have felt better than I have in months. Like a fog has lifted. I have had a few poignant moments of "feeling like myself" - do you know what I mean?<br /><br />Ironically, I remember that going ON the progesterone when I did actually helped. I was feeling anxious at the time and it seemed to take the edge off those feelings. But then after a while, it felt different. As the pregnancy progressed and hormones icreased, it was more tired/depressive feelings rather than anxiety, per se.<br /><br />Anyway, I am reminded that all this hormonal business that we go through COMBINED WITH the stresses of fertility treatments can make for a pretty intense rollercoaster. I think I have sometimes forgotten how big a part the chemicals play. I have mentioned before that I go to a therapist weeky, which really helps a lot. But it's nice to be reminded that brain chemistry is a *real* issue, and that we can only do what we can do in terms of cognitive behavioral therapy IN SPITE OF the hormones. <br /><br />Thanks for checking up on me! All is well. :) I am learning to eat small meals very often (6-7 times per day) balanced with good protein, carbs and fats and plenty of fiber to keep things movin'. I was having some pretty intense blood-sugar plunges, and now I think I am finally getting a handle on this part. Walking 4-5 times per week and now about to go to my first prenatal yoga class. Will start swimming soon.<br /><br />More soon - Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas, Joyous Kwanza, Happy Bodhi Day... no matter how you celebrate, I wish you the very best and send my profound thanks to you for connecting with me. It means so much. I am reading you!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-1166126871928026532006-12-14T11:19:00.000-08:002006-12-14T12:07:52.020-08:0012w Good NewsOur CVS results came back normal. We are extremely relieved. And these are the final CVS results, with cultures and all. We still have to do <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha-fetoprotein">AFP</a> testing at around 15 weeks.<br /><br />We now know the sex of the wigglers: one girl and one boy. Thank you, universe. So far so good. I still can't help the difficult scenarios that my brain thinks up. I hope I continue to become more optimistic as time goes on.<br /><br />So... we're coming out of the closet slowly today. We're being really choosy and careful about who we're telling first. We have so many friends who have experienced loss and fertility problems that we want to tell them first, and gently, and coming straight from us. I hate this part of it. Especially with twins. It's not fair. Makes me sick to my stomach. And it's not the morning sickness.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23893411.post-1165878686018304022006-12-11T15:07:00.000-08:002006-12-11T15:11:26.056-08:0011w4d CVS ProcedureI am lying on the couch taking it easy after our <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chorionic_villus_sampling">CVS</a> procedure this morning. It went very well - the doc was able to get samples from both wigglers through my cervix, thereby thwarting the need to go through the abdomen. With twins, they often do have to go through the abdomen for at least one of 'em.<br /><br />I would say that the procedure was no more uncomfortable than my <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hysterosalpingogram">HSG</a>, which is to say, pretty mild. I have sort of a wacky curved cervix that creates a challenge for any doc trying to thread a catheter up there, but this doc was really adept! Frankly, the worst part was when he put the speculum in and had to wrench things around a little because of my retroverted uterus.<br /><br />The doc had an awesome bedside manner and spent a lot of time with us. What a great guy. And so awesome to know that his stats are amazing. So. We'll get the partial results by the end of this work week, and the rest of the results (they need to culture cells) within 5 weeks. <br /><br />Hubs was pretty nervous this morning. Actually, he mentioned it quite a few times this week. I think the anticipation is hard for him. For some reason, even though I am an accomplished worrier, I don't feel too worried about this. I guess I'm so used to people messing around in the ol' Ute that it just doesn't phase me much anymore. Also, as far as the results go, I figure that what is already is, and has been so since we put sperm and egg together. I want everything to be ok, but just don't feel any worry. Novel!<br /><br />Really hope that everything is ok and that we can start to tell people. It's getting harder to hide - I'm a pretty slim person and am definitely showing a pot belly. And looking a bit thicker in general. I've made so many excuses and told so many little white lies (little pink and/or blue lies?) that I really am looking forward to coming clean.<br /><br />And yes, we're gonna find out the genders. Stay tuned. Reading you, and fingers crossed for all the <a href="http://cyclesista.blogspot.com/">CycleSistas</a>...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com10