All in all, this has been super fun. I am really enjoying myself and my husband is, too. It is SO much better than I thought it was going to be. Yes it is hard, yes I am sleep deprived, yes there are moments where I want to SCREAM AND GET AWAY from these two babies, but overall I feel extremely positive. It is exactly and presicely like everyone who has raised a child has said: it's by far the hardest thing I've ever done, and by far the most gratifying.
We have been very lucky to have family helping, even though our families live far away from us. My mom was here for nearly 3 weeks and then Hubs' mom or 2 weeks, and now Hub's sister. All have been cooking up a storm, feeding us well, doing tons of baby duty (and doodie) and really connecting with their grandchildren/niece/nephew. (doesn't hurt that Hubs' mom is a former L & D nurse!) And Hubs works from home so is always "on call" - but he's actually been able to work out in his office.
The babelets are smiling like crazy and developing at light speed. Girl is kicking her feet like she's in spinning class, and spent the majority of yesterday awake and happily alert. Boy is also spending a lot more time awake and smiling up a storm. He is also laughing on occasion, though he's still working out the exact sound he wants to make. Both respond like crazy to facial expressions, music, textures on their skin.
At their 2 month pediatrician visit they weighed 11lbs8oz and 11lbs2oz. They got their first round of immunization shots, which, of course, wasn't pleasant. However, neither got a fever or displayed much discomfort afterwards.
They are sometimes sleeping longer at night - up to 4 hour stretches. Or at least they WERE. Hubs decided to take them out the other night for a short jaunt to an outdoor concert thing to meet up with some friends. He wasn't there for long, but he went at just the time that we've been putting them down at night (around 7-ish, depending on where feeding is falling). They reportedly slept most of the time in their car seats, but nevertheless, they now seem rather confused about night/day and it seems like they've reverted a bit.
Has anyone experienced this? Is it terrible to think of ever taking babies to a restaurant during the time that might be their bedtime? Must we be tied to the house on schedule or risk the consequences of having them messed up for a week afterwards? Or is it just that they are little and not grasping the "program" quite yet?
We don't have them on a "schedule" - we're still basically on demand led by the first baby to request the boob. But they do seem to be falling into a fairly predictable pattern. We'd like to get them to go to sleep in their crib around 7PM and stay there (coming out for feedings) until the morning feed, which seems to be around 6:30AM. Usually what happens is we do evening feeding, bath time (they love it), then try to settle them down. More times than not, they will nap for about 1/2 hour and then wake back up, only to remain so until the next feeding (basically 3 hourslater at like 10PM). It's like they want one more Awake cycle. Sometimes, that's the end of it and they're down, other times.... not so much.
Advice? How can we encourage flexibility yet give them the predictable routine that kids take comfort in?
12 comments:
I'm so glad to hear you're all doing well!
As far as bedtime stuff - we've always kept it pretty predictable. In part because J works nights and I'm on my own for bedtime. So I don't know what to say about that.
As for the one more awake cycle - I remember C & N doing the same thing. As they got older that stopped. I think as naps get more predictable it helps the nighttime stuff get sorted out.
Great to read an update and hear how you all are doing! It sounds like you and your husband (and supportive family) are doing a great job!
I'm not sure I'm the one with answers about sleep, since ours still don't sleep well at almost a year, but...
it does sound like right now your bedtime is a bit early for them. From what I've read bedtime is a bit later at first, gets earlier after 3 months or so. So I wouldn't worry at this age SO much about taking them out now and then before 9/10 PM. Later on I think having that set 7:00 bedtime is important, but even then, special occasions can allow a break. We struggle with being tied to routine and having "a life" and mostly stick to routine, with breaks for important stuff, or sanity.
does sound like you are doing a great job! And it only gets better.
Sounds like things are going fairly well. (I am so jealous about the dinner help you are getting! :) We had no help after our twins and suppers seemed to suffer the most! :) So glad you have a great family that helps out.
We have our boys on a schedule, we have since about 4 or 5 months old. Now they are so scheduled they let us know what to do! :) We have found that messing with their schedule isn't a good idea, but I think it may just be our kids! Good luck figuring it all out, all kids are different so I hope you find what works for you guys
I'm glad you guys are doing so well!
You know, I struggle with this one. I think, for me, ours is routined for bedtime. I started the bedtime routine immediately. From day one. Even if it wasn't always at the same time in the beginning. It was always bath, massage, jammies, and when it was time for bed, we fed him with the lights out, and whether this is what established his punctual bedtime routine, I'll never know, but he's usually in bed by 8pm. I worry a lot of time about taking him off schedule, but I think, now that he's a little older, doing this once in awhile, won't break him or throw him so off that he'll revert back to waking every few hours. I know that for one night he may have an off night.
I'd say give them until maybe 4 months but keep at least a bedtime routine. But don't stress yourself if you want to go out to dinner at normal people dinner time. When I was a kid, I had a bedtime routine I'm sure, but I know that we went to my godparents house like, once a week or maybe once every couple-few weeks and I'd have to fall asleep not at home. Or we'd go to dinner once a week and be out close to bedtime. My parents needed that break and so do we. I mean, if we're too structured all the time, they'll be less flexible I think. It's a fine line. The Mini still doesn't really have a good daytime routine.
You'll find what works best for them eventually. They always let you know in some way.
I'm glad they're doing well and that you are too. It's important to take care of yourself.
Congratulations and I am glad things are going well!! On the sleeping issue-I think in time they will go on a schedule. B didn't go on schedule until 13 weeks or so. The night feedins just became less and less. By 13th week he was going down at 8 and waking up at 6! so don't worry you will get there.
I'm so glad that mama-hood is going well.
I am so glad that all is well!
Sounds wonderful, despite the sleep depravation! My partner and I are working towards IVF after an unsuccessful 3 years of TTC. It's always great to hear the success stories!
Hey there - I'm a first time commenter. I have twin boys (from IVF) that are now 27 months old. We stuck to a routine, but found that when they were really little, getting out to eat was really easy. The noise of the restaurant would put them to sleep, we'd have a good meal and not have to cook or clean up. :-) Sounds like you've got a lot of great family help, though, which is awesome!
Sleep is one of those elusive things still for us. So hang in there. Sounds like you're doing great!
haha! I just saw the date of your last post where I left a comment. Looks like you are super busy. Take care.
ivf
Appears to be amazing, despite the rest depravation! My associate and I will work towards IVF after an not successful 3 decades of TTC. It's always excellent to listen to the achievements stories!
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