Monday, September 18, 2006

FET #1 Officially Negative

Just got the call. Beta was negative. Thanks for all your hopeful support, I really appreciate it, guys. I wish I could report different results. I believe that I will someday do just that. Tell me now all your stories of failure(s) in your past and babies you have now... each of these stories is a gleaming gem for me. What made you not give up? [addendum: I realize that most people with these examples aren't necessarily reading us any more...]

I know this is going to sound strange, but I am ok. Really, truly ok. It seems weird after kinda NOT being ok during certain lengths of time during the past 4 or 5 months (depression/anxiety). I don't wanna speak too soon, but I think all the work I've been doing with therapy and meditation and such is really beginning to take hold. The last couple days since getting the negative HPT at 12 and 13dp5dt could have been extremely dark. But you know what? It doesn't have to be that way.

I am not saying this isn't hard, I'm just saying that the bottom of my stomach is not falling out. I don't feel hopeless or overwhelmed. I can put this behind me. And I can begin right now. The news is painful, but the suffering is optional.

I have an appointment for Friday with the RE to discuss next steps, which I believe will be our second FET. We've got two freezies left - one is excellent quality, the other is just slightly less in grade. After that, if need be, we will try IVF again. But one step at a time.

I am interested in a non-medicated, natural cycle and wonder if my RE will go for it. I am a cyst grower, so we might not be able to do it, but I sure don't like the idea of going on Lupron again. Not so great for me mentally - like many of these drugs.

How long did it take after stopping Estrace and micronized progesterone for your period to come?

21 comments:

soralis said...

Oh I am so very sorry... take care

One Mother's Journey said...

I'm sorry Utrus.

seattlegal said...

I'm so, so sorry.
I'm glad that you are doing o.k. Take care!

Bea said...

I can't answer your questions, just wanted to say I was hoping for something else, and I'm sorry my hope-against-hope didn't come through.

Your attitude sounds amazing, though. You are a long long way from beat. And how else will you be able to get through enough treatment to give you your goal? So I'm glad you're doing well on that front.

Bea

chloe said...

I am so sorry.

Your strength is encouraging and I will hold onto it for my beta next week.

Lut C. said...

I'm sorry it didn't work this time.

FETs do work sometimes, I gather. I haven't had the pleasure yet, but may soon.
Off the top of my head, Jenny (http://needleinmybum.blogspot.com/) had good luck with a FET after a negative fresh cycle. I'm sure there are loads more.

Sunny Jenny said...

So, Sorry... It usually takes me 2 weeks to start AF after stopping cold turkey. Therapy does really help! Wishing you the best.

TeamWinks said...

Let us know what the RE says, we'd all be interested in hearing. Glad to hear you spirits are high considering. Keep on keepin' on, we're all here for you.

Twisted Ovaries said...

I'm sorry sweets.

I know three other bloggers who succeeded with non-medicated FET. I had a successful medicated FET before I m/c.

Your period should come shortly-I think the last time around I had a negative while on those meds it was a week or so later.

Pamplemousse said...

Sorry to hear your news.

Sunnie said...

Hey! *hug*

Millie said...

So sorry to hear your news. I don't have any great stories myself but since I'm now doing donor embryo I like to remind myself that all the cycles that work out for ED (and lots do) are FETs. Here's hoping your next FET turns into a gem.

serenity said...

I am really sorry to hear it, I was rooting for you. But I am heartened to hear that you're doing ok.

FETs do work; I have heard about them working. Have no personal stories to share - yet (we're doing FET #3 in the next week or so).

My cycle is medicated, and I am NOT on Lupron - just estrogen - I take estrace and supplement it with a estradiol patch; a thought for you for maybe next time.

*HUG*

zhl said...

I'm so sorry. No information here on FET; just thinking of you.

flygirl said...

Sorry Utrus. I was really hoping for some good news. You do sound like you're in a good place despite the disappointment.

Jenny from the Infertility Block had a non medicated FET successfully. It CAN happen!

Take care!

fisher queen said...

I'm sorry it didn't work. You sound great though. I really hope this next FET is the last.

Beagle said...

I'm just so very sorry.

I think it took about a week for my period to show after my failed FET.

I'm glad you're doing OK. Don't be surprised if it hits you when AF shows up. That is usually the case for me. I think I have a handle on it then I fall apart.

I don't wish that on you I just found it harder when it blind-sided me.

Hope548 said...

Sorry you didn't get better news, but it's great how healthy you sound about it!

Hopeful Mother said...

So very sorry about your negative. My period came about 3 days after I stopped the promtetrium.

Thinking of you!

Manuela said...

I am so so sorry. And while you might be doing ok right now... don't be too hard on yourself if your mood fluctuates as time goes on. We've all been there.

And... since you asked. I actually believe that my body just did not like being bludgeoned by all the lupron and associated drugs... I think the more we tried to manipulate it... the more stubborn my body became. As you may well know... it was when I was on NO drugs... between cycles... that well... you know. It happened. I'm not suggesting people abandon their protocols because I was one of those annoying fluke people... BUT... I do think you should definitely listen to your instincts as to what you think your body needs. So if you think you should try a natural cycle... then man... you should DEMAND it!

Shazz said...

I am sorry to hear your news. Fingers crossed your next cycle arrives quickly.