Sunday, March 19, 2006

Pre-Day 8: Why Aren't I Laughing?

So, this morning, I open my email and a friend (who has absolutely NO idea we're doing IVF, much less TTC) sends me this link.



Check it out. It's a video of a mom with her QUADRUPLETS lying in bed and the dad is making them laugh. They are incredibly cute and delicious. However, I also got the creepy feeling that all those little in-unison giggles could come straight out of a horror film. A horror film in which I could play the starring role.

I woke up this morning thinking How many embryos should we replace? Will any make it to day 5? If they do, should we just replace one blast? But what are the statistics? Is one enough? Will the cells divide anyway and make maternals? Would we ever be able to selectively reduce? What are the risks to the surviving pregnancy if we did reduce? What are the risks of having multiples to all involved? Is it fair to the prospective multiple babies to put them at risk for all the stuff that can go wrong... low birth weight, prematurity, and all the complications?

So, you see why this video, which should have made me laugh, actually made me burst into tears. Could my friend's timing have been any more hilariously torturous?

I really want ONE baby (at a time).

12 comments:

N said...

They are sweet...withe the strangest laughs. I didn't know babies could laugh like THAT...:-S...

I have thought about the number of embrios to be transfrred as well, a lot, and not always without jealousy. Here in Sweden, a law prohibits the transfer of more than one embryo (in very special cases 2). While I feel mostly always OK that this law exists, it is there to protect foremost me the pregnant woman to be, I can also feel very envious for those who get 2 or three embryos transferred and thus have a higher chance of succeeding. Well, in any case it will always be one embryo for me...here they call it the "gold egg", and the success rates of IVF are still equally good here as they are in the US where more embryos are transferred.

I do understand you worries, and hope you come to a good and satisfying solution. The number of embryos is not everything needed to make a cycle succeed. Good luck to you. We are IVF sister now :-D, isn't that nice...or better exciting...no wrong word again...interesting?

Take care!

Nina

UtRus said...

hi Nina
that is VERY interesting about the law in Sweden. I have been thinking a LOT about this (as you can tell). I recenly learned that the law in the UK is no more than 2 to be replaced for women under 35 and no more than 3 for women over 35. I also read a study that compared stats on women receiving 1 vs. 2 embryos replaced on 5th day transfer. The result was that there was no increase in resulting pregnancies with 2 vs. 1! (And obviously the group with 2 replace wound up with far more twins.)

So, seems the best case scenario would be If I were lucky enough to have a really good "grade A" egg dividing strongly that makes it to blastocyst stage for a day 5 transfer. Then, according to this study, your chances are no better whether you should receive 1 embie like this or 2. And like you said, in Sweden the IVF success rates are similar to what they are elsewhere where more than 1 replacement are allowed.

Hmmm. I have to say, I put quite a lot of weight in these European laws. I think it not only protects the woman (very important, thank you very much) but ALSO protects the health of the infant(s) that would be born. Multiple pregnancies come with a much higher risk of complications for the babies. So I feel like I want to do all I can, for all involved, to try and get a singleton. I am 36 years old, so, not so young but also not toooooo old yet. At this point, I am inclined to put a limit to 2 embryos replaced in any case, and ask for just one if we are lucky enough to get a great blastocyst for day 5.

But I have not discussed in detail with my doc yet. Want to make sure I have all the info. :)

Yes, it is great to have found you my IVF sister. I also wish you massive amounts of luck and patience and yes, it is nice, exciting AND interesting! ;) Write soon on either blog or email.

Just another Jenny said...

I just found your blog through Nina's. I am another one just starting on my first cycle (meds start March 27).
My sister-in-law sent me pictures of a woman in her office with her baby on her chest right after delivering and she knows we are doing IVF. Honestly, sometimes I don't know what is wrong with people. I am sorry you had to wake up to that in your inbox.

Canada is much more conservative with IVF then the US. My Dr. only recomends 2 embryos if they look good, 3 if they are low quality. As for the fairness, I don't think IVF has anything to do with "fair" so just throw that word right out the window.
All the best to you with this cycle.

UtRus said...

hi Jenny - nice to meetcha. :)

Anyway, you're right, not a lot is "fair" about IVF in general - that is for sure, girl. But what I meant was I feel I need to take responsibility for ensuring the health as best I can, of any baby(s) conceived. So, for example, for me (others would think differently, and that's completely fine) carrying 3 or 4 fetuses (or more) absolutely puts all those fetuses at very high risk for some horrendous complications should they make it to delivery. I don't feel like I can do that, in good faith, to those babies. I want to try and avoid a situation like that if I can.

It feels weird to say this, but I feel like I would rather never be pregnant than to vastly, knowingly, increase the chances for any babies to be born into a torturous, critical care situation.

Note that I say KNOWINGLY. Of course there is so much that we don't have control over, and people have little singletons in crit care, too. And many twins and multiples are born just fine. I am just talking about things I CAN control and how to lean the statistics toward a good direction for all involved.

Sunnie said...

Awww *hug* lol you have to laugh at the timing of this email though! :) Ok, maybe not...

Just stopping by. Thanks for visiting my blog...and uh can I call you something else other than Utrus :) heheheh

soralis said...

Hello there,

I just came across your blog. First I wish you luck with your cycle! I am sooo sorry about the link your friend sent, that would totally suck to wake up to that in the morning.

I was reading through your posts and noticed the drug pics. Wow that is a lot to process at once. Our clinic was great only sent you what you needed just before you needed it. It was a lot less overwhelming.

Take care

UtRus said...

Sunnie
Well, you pronounce it Ut-are-us - kinda like Toys-R-Us (but I couldn't figure out how to type a backwards "R") :) LOL! you can call me Ute for short if you like that better.

And hi Soralis - that's a good idea that your clinic would send only the drugs that are needed at the time. Then again, seeing it all at once, at least I won't have any surprises (knocking on wood at frantic pace over here).

Beth said...

First and foremost, I want to wish you luck with your cycle. I don't know why folks email stuff like that - everytime I unsuspectingly open my email there is stuff like that and its sometimes just too hard. Off to go back and read your entire blog and get caught up.

S said...

Hi Ute:

Sorry that someone was asinine enough to send you that-people are really fucked up ('cuse the French, but I curse a lot-probably because I'm from NJ!)-don't people think?

Just wanted to say hi and thanks for posting on my blog. As one of those multiple IVF'ers, the only assvice I can give is to just take it one day at at a time. If not, it can be really overwhelming (especially the box 'o meds-that's enough to put anyone into panic-attack mode). Good luck!!

UtRus said...

Beth - thanks for reading :)

S - you can fucking swear on my blog anytime. And day-by-day, I hear you. You're so totally right.

TiggleBitties said...

Thanks for stopping by and visiting my blog. If you don't mind, I'd love to add a fellow swearer to my list of Ladies in Waiting.

I'm sorry about the email. That sucks. Her only saving grace and the only reason we aren't sending the IF posse after her is that she didn't know. It's one of those things, it sucks so badly, but we do what we do best which is laugh on the outside and then break down and cry on the inside.

Best of luck to you on this cycle! I look forward to more posts. :)

thalia said...

If you want one baby, you need to transfer two embryos. You might get twins, but you will also massively increase the chances of getting just one baby. Transferring more is a nono for someone on their first cycle with no evidence of implantation issues.