Monday, November 27, 2006

9w4d L'il Update

Sorry so long between posts. Thanks for checking in. Everything is so far so good with the two growing embryos... which now might be fetuses? Not sure of exact definition. Apparently they are about the size of grapes, so we are calling them "The Grapes."

I have been pretty sick. The first half of every day is pretty low-key as all I can do on most mornings is eat as much as I can get down in 2 separate breakfasts about 2 hours apart and then wind up falling asleep again. When I wake up at about noon or 1PM, I'm usually feeling a bit better and then try to get out and get some exercise by walking. I can't wait until I'm allowed to swim. Right now I still can't because I think there is some concern that it could wash away the progesterone vaginal suppositories that are so crucial.

I have not yet thrown up, and am really happy about that. And some days are really quite tolerable and not bad at all. But I have never been so tired. It's shocking (in a tired way, if you know what I mean). I had always heard of the exhaustion in the first trimester, but I had no idea it was so overwhelming. I now officially worship the women who take care of their other small children while pregnant AND some who do this and work too! I cannot imagine how they function. And yet, so many do it and do it well!

Mentally, things have been a bit lighter in the past 10 or so days. I don't have precise answers as to why, I only know that I am grateful and hope the trend continues. Even with the raging hormones, I seem to be spending less time depressed or anxious and more time in the "normal zone." Can't say I'm feeling AWESOME, but who would with 24-7 nausea? I have been continuing to work without fail at therapy, meditation and other parts of life.

It's pretty mysterious, how something that can seem completely overwhelming from one outlook can seem completely manageable (and maybe even fun?) through another outlook. The mind is so mysterious in some ways. But it does follow patterns, and if I can get quiet enough, it's possible to begin to discern... and slowly, like a determined snail, make my way across that barren concrete to another lush garden where I will likely, and with luck, spend the vast majority of my lifetime.

I have not yet formed a substantial attachment to these Grapes. I have little glimmers of looking forward to the future, but until we've gone through the genetic testing and made it further into this pregnancy, I don't really have the urge to be overly attached. I feel fairly optimistic, but I am wary. As... as we learn to be.

So on that note, we have an RE appointment in 4 days, an OB appointment in 9 days, as well as our genetic counseling session in preparation for CVS testing in a couple weeks from now.

I am reading you. :)


TeamWinks said...

We are reading you too, and hoping that you continue checking in with us.

Erika Jurney said...

"wary. As... as we learn to be."

I feel you on that one. Good luck at all your appointments, and I'm looking forward to the updates.

soralis said...

So sorry to hear about your m/s... that is no fun. I understand your being wary. Take care and I hope the m/s calms down soon.

Anonymous said...

I definitely understand the wary part. Just the other day I said to J "honey I think I might actually have been pregnant" I was still in disbelief and this was after delivery!
I'm so glad you're spending more time in the normal zone. Keep up the good work with therapy and meditation.
I hope the nausea passes soon. Good luck with the upcoming appointments. I'll be thinking of you.

Lut C. said...

I'm sorry you're feeling so much nausea, I hope it clears soon.

By the way, Beck wrote a great song about it, it's in the alternative music charts right now.

zarqa said...

Ditto on the wariness. BTW, I'm 7w3d...shhh!

Anonymous said...

That's me! You worship me!! I'm so flattered.
Anyway, thanks for the updates. I check religiously. Hope you feel better soon. Hard to feel chipper with the nausea and fatigue, I know.

Carey said...

I've been lurking since Aug 2 on your blog... so happy to see that everything is going well... gives me hope!! =)

Anonymous said...

Yay! We're having twins!